Jordan and I are creatures of habit.  Fortunately, so is our little fuzz, GIR.  So this morning when I went to feed him and didn't find him mewing right outside my door, I was a bit perplexed.  Fortunately, he was close by so I didn't have to worry too much.  He was lying on the bathroom carpet staring at me.

"GIR, breakfast time!" I chimed and headed for the kitchen.  But kitty did not follow.  I got out the wet food and saw that there was no more out of it than the night before, so Jordan hadn't fed the cat already.  I filled the kitty bowl, but still no kitty.  Strange.  I finished putting away the food and went to shower. 

GIR hadn't moved.

I took my shower and noted that GIR left briefly but returned shortly thereafter - at which point he took up his command post on the toilet.  When I finished my shower, he meowed at me a few times kind of lazily.  Once the meow became a yawn halfway through.  We did our usual nosey touches when I had dried my face, and he let me rub his cheeks.  This is when I became worried.  GIR is very VERY particular about being pet.  You may stroke him where and how and when he wants.  Cheek rubs are done on command and finished when he decides.  This morning I kept rubbing his cheek in the usual manner and he just kept enjoying it.  Half-lidded eyes and a dopey grin on his face where usually he's sharp and ready to snap at you if you scratch just a second too long.

I pulled back and looked at him.  He didn't seem ill, really.  His paws weren't hot or sweating, and his eyes were clear.  I kept watch on him while I went about my morning beautification just to be sure.  He sat up on the vanity while I did my hair, and immediately he became focused on the wall.  The BLANK wall.  I looked for a bug or some fluff or movement of any sort.  But there wasn't anything that could be calling his attention so completely.

I laughed to myself that this behaviour reminded me of the few times I've been st-

STONED!

My cat is STONED!
My CAT is stoned!

WTF?!

Jordan came out of the office around that time to give me a good morning kiss.  "Honey, our cat is stoned."
"Our cat is what?" Jordan was confused.
"Stoned."
"What makes you say that?"
"This - "  I opened the bathroom door.  GIR was standing on the vanity still, front paws firmly placed on the mirror which he was staring at intently with big eyes.
"That's a stoned kitty alright, "  Jordan replied.

From then on I stopped worrying.  I gave GIR a new catnip cat toy the other night - the Teenie Sardinie - which hasn't been seen since that first night.  Apparently GIR and I both get a case of the "stares" when stoned.

Go figure.